This one goes out to all the ladies who feel so stressed out by the constant need to protect and be two steps in front of your child at all times. Our brains never get a rest with the constant worry and fear. We go to bed fearing we’re not doing the best we can, and we wake up fearing what dangerous activity will our child partake in today. (I’ve got a toddler who climbs on everything. She’s like a spider monkey. I know this fear.)Let them make a mess sometimes. Let them choose their clothes. Let them try. Let them have a grumpy day. (We have them.)
Our kids are a lot like our men. We ladies want to mold them and shape them and change them into what we want them to be. But, they are who they are and you’re not going to change who he his. But, you can guide each other, together.
My point? I think we tend to do this with our kids, too. We want to shape them so much. We want to protect them so much. We compare our kids to our friends’ kids, right? It’s the head game you play with yourself: “My kid’s not talking as well as Sally’s kid”. Or, “That little Johnny is already counting to 100 in Spanish. (And mine can only count to 20.)”
Or it’s the actual “No Sam! Don’t climb the slide. You could fall.”
C’mon…,you know you’ve done it. Just admit it.
I call this hypermom syndrome. And I’ve certainly had my moments. I think we all have our days.
I encountered a particularly hyper hypermom this week and it stood out. It was one of those moments where I just wanted to go up to her and say to her: “It’s OK. He will be OK. Take a deep breath. Oh, and calm the f down, lady.” But, I’m fancier than that, and I didn’t. I merely thought it and played up a whole scene in my head of how the conversation would go down.
We were at this indoor play place for toddlers–so the place is like locked-down child proofed. She had a precious little rambunctious 2 year old boy. He was your typical full-of-energy 2 yr old boy. Well behaved. He wasn’t throwing fits or anything. My son and this boy started interacting and were playing together. They were having a great time and playing chase; doing what little boys do and playing very well together.
I’m sitting there thinking, “Great, he found a friend.”
But, her….you should have seen the stress levels rising. She was freaking out inside. I could just see it in her eyes and the nostril flare. She was a footstep behind him this whole time they were running, and finally told him to stop running because he would fall.
Stop running in a place designed for kids to run around in? Really? HYPERMOM. To the max.
Please don’t be this hypermom. Really. It’s not good for anyone.
Children should have some freedoms to explore. They should have some freedom to fall every once in a while, and learn from it. And, you should give yourself some mental freedom to relax a little and sit on the sideline observing every once in a while.
Guide them, but don’t put them on a leash. They go at their own pace and by exploring their world, they will pick up on things faster. And that, my friends, is when they will pleasantly surprise you and say something or do something amazing, of which you didn’t think they were capable.
Running with friends is a normal childhood behavior. Running with scissors is not. So, you take the scissors away but don’t cease the running.